By Vicki Rackner, M.D.

What do you do if you and your loved one have different “optimal doses” of information?You want as much information as possible….but your Dad doesn’t, or, Mom is in the library all day researching her condition, whereas the doctor’s brief overview is enough for you. What to do?

The answer is simple, though not always so simply accomplished: get the right information. Information treats two of the most painful conditions in medicine - fear and confusion. Take the story of Eloise, who experienced vague on-and-off symptoms. Doctor after doctor told her she was fine. Yet she knew in her heart that something was wrong. Several years elapsed before she was diagnosed with lupus. The information offered by a definitive diagnosis alleviated anxiety that had been brought on by years of questions with no answers.

What Dose of Information?

You need to take the proper dose of medication to get its full benefits. Take too little and your symptoms persist; take too much and you can get a toxic response.

Each individual has an optimal dose of information. One patient of mine, Troy, reads everything he can get his hands on. On the other hand, as I started to tell my patient Ted about the possible risks and benefits of two antibiotics, he raised his hands like a white-gloved policeman directing traffic. “Doc, I don't want to hear any of the side effects. I'll get every one of them. You decide for me.”

How do you Take your Information?

You can get medicine in your body with pills or inhalers or patches. Similarly, you have a unique style of learning new information so you can use it to make good choices. In school did you learn best by reading the textbook, or listening to the lecture, or some combination of the two? Are there certain visual or audio cues you can give yourself to help best assimilate the information? Use the style that works best for you, and be creative. Joseph dictated a two-page summary of his medical condition and then listened to the tape when he was out walking.

Where do you Get Your Information?

A good source of information may be your healthcare provider, your pharmacist, or a library with medical information. The Internet can be a good source of medical information, but be sure to go to reputable sites that your doctor can recommend.

Getting the Amount of Information you Need

Here are some tips if you and your loved one need different doses of information:

• Remember that your loved one is the patient. Be sensitive to the optimal dose of information you or your loved one receives regarding a condition. Learn to recognize when your loved one is getting overwhelmed.
• Obtain the information you need. If you need more information, get it!  Ask your loved one if it’s OK to call the doctor and ask some questions. Say, “Mom, you know how much better I feel when I’m armed with information, and I know that you don’t want to be burdened with the details of your medical care. Would it work for you if I called the doctor and asked some of my own questions?”
• Get information from other members of the health care team. Nurses, pharmacists, physical and occupational therapists, and the many other members of the health care team have a wealth of information. Get plugged into these resources. 
• Understand your intention for gathering information. There are two people in the caregiving relationship…you and your loved one. Both of you need to be supported. Be clear about who any given action supports. Are you gathering information to help your loved one make informed medical choices? Are you becoming informed as a way of helping yourself manage your own fear.  
• Ask permission from your loved one before you volunteer information. You might run across what you think is the perfect solution to a medical challenge. Ask before you share it. “Dad, I found an article that talks about the role of nutrition in fighting cancer. Would you be interested in seeing it?" Many patients describe the unhelpful nature of unsolicited “helpful information.”