By Gary Barg

In 1994, I returned home to South Florida to help my mom who had been primary caregiver for my Dad and both of her parents over the past few years. On my first day back, Mom was dealing with my grandmother’s recent hip fracture and clinical depression, my grandfather’s wandering behavior as a person living with Alzheimer’s disease, and a myriad of insurance challenges. I told her that I was glad to be able to come back during such a hectic week and she replied with surprise that this was actually one of the easier weeks she had seen as a family caregiver.  My career as a caregiver’s caregiver had begun. 

After searching in vain for the information we needed as family caregivers, we decided we needed information designed to support us and other caregivers. We launched Today’s Caregiver magazine, created caregiver.com, wrote the Fearless Caregiver book, and commenced the Fearless Caregiver conferences. 

Over the past 10 years, I have had the pleasure of answering a wide variety of questions from family caregivers through caregiver.com and at the Fearless Caregiver conferences, and have in turn learned much from every interaction. One of the most important things I have learned is that family caregivers are the nation’s true health care decision-makers and they deserve to be treated with respect as full members of their loved ones’ care team. The family caregiver’s role on the care team is to become what I call a Fearless Caregiver.

A Fearless Caregiver is someone who understands that every member of their loved one’s team has an important role to play. A Fearless Caregiver’s role is to learn all they can about their loved one’s situation and act as his or her advocate within the health care system. 

There are three basic elements to becoming a Fearless Caregiver:

1. The first is that you must believe you can make a difference.
2. The second is that you must see your role in your loved one's care as being just as important as the professional caregivers or health care providers helping take care of your loved one.
3. The third is that you must ask questions, a LOT of questions, and learn how to not take "no" for an answer.

I welcome the opportunity to answer your caregiving questions in this column and to share stories, tips, and advice which can help support you as you care for your loved ones and yourselves.