By Charles B. Inlander

One of the most difficult things for a caregiver to deal with is a loved one who is suffering from a “cognitive impairment.” If you are not familiar with that diagnostic label, you certainly know the symptoms, which include mental confusion, forgetfulness, and erratic behavior.

Cognitive impairment is medically defined as the loss of a person’s ability to process, learn, and remember information. Alzheimer’s disease is one of the most severe forms of cognitive impairment, but there are many milder examples, such as the inability to remember names or continually forgetting where you placed something. Cognitive impairments are not just associated with old age. They can be caused by medication a person is taking, stress, or an underlying medical condition, such as when heart disease cuts off the blood flow to the brain. But no matter what the cause, caring for people who suffer from a cognitive impairment can be both frustrating and taxing.

Here are some strategies a savvy caregiver can use to help deal with people suffering from cognitive problems.

Be Patient

It may be hard, but patience is the most important strategy to employ with someone who has cognitive difficulties. If a loved one keeps asking the same questions every five minutes, such as “What’s for dinner tonight?”, simply answer it each time like it was never asked before. Getting angry or growling back with something like, “I just told you five minutes ago!”, does nothing to help the person’s memory and may further frustrate him or her.

Consult a Physician

It’s important to keep your loved one’s physician involved any time a new cognitive symptom arises or an old one gets worse. Quite often, the problem may be related to a newly prescribed medication or a change in medication. It may also be a symptom of some other medical problem. The doctor may be able to refer you to a specialist such as a neurologist or a psychologist who specializes in working with people with cognitive difficulties.

Get Help

Don’t try to be a martyr and handle everything yourself. It’s impossible. Get help from family and friends, people who can come in and relieve you once in a while. Most communities have adult day-care programs for people with cognitive impairments. Check with your local Alzheimer’s Association chapter or your county or municipal government for such programs. If an emergency arises and you need to leave town or you get sick and need to be hospitalized, seek out emergency respite services in your community. These are programs that will take your loved one in for several days or weeks, often in an assisted living or nursing facility, until you are capable of resuming your caregiving. Again, check the organizations above for help.

Your Loved One Doesn’t Mean to Frustrate You

For the caregiver, seeing a loved one’s memory or personality change due to cognitive impairments can be depressing, frustrating, and sometimes quite maddening. These changes often necessitate a changing of roles, meaning the caregiver is now doing things the affected spouse or loved one used to do, such as paying the bills, writing the Christmas cards, or cooking the meals. Just remember that if he or she could, the person suffering the impairment would gladly resume those tasks.

Remember that the cognitive impairments are not your loved one’s fault. Be forgiving of the mistakes they may make, and also be sure to forgive yourself for the times you are less than perfect in your own reactions.