By Ellen Neuborne

Of all the things we can do for a sick or aging loved one, perhaps the best and most important, is to simply visit. Many ways exist to have a satisfying and supportive visit, even to create new memories. Thinking ahead of time about what you'll do can help you tailor your visit to make it rewarding. If you're not a frequent companion, ask a close relative or the individual's regular caregiver about any physical or intellectual limitations that the person may have. As you plan, consider some of the following.

Go on an Outing

Plan a short trip to a place that will provide things to see and discuss, such as a trip to a nearby shopping mall, a musical performance or even a visit to the zoo if you think it might go over well. Any of these may make a pleasant outing for someone who is physically mobile but may have difficulty communicating. Be aware that some activities, such as going to a movie, might be too loud or difficult to follow. Try tying your destination to an activity your loved one enjoyed in the past. For example, a formerly avid gardener might enjoy a trip to a botanical garden or arboretum.

Read Aloud

If getting out isn't possible, reading aloud is a good way to create a bit of a mental escape. Have the person you're visiting choose the reading material or bring something along. Poetry and verse make good choices for some people and joke books can be fun too. There are anthologies of stories collected especially for read-alouds. Ask for recommendations from a bookstore or librarian. Or choose a book or magazine piece that dovetails with a special interest. For example, a sports fan might enjoy hearing the latest about a favorite team or player.

Play a Game

This is always an excellent activity for a visit that includes young children. Many games and toys can be suitably adapted for multi-generational play. Look for classics like bingo, checkers or dominos. This helps ensure that all players will be familiar with the game and its rules.

Card games, such as Go Fish, Crazy 8s, or Gin Rummy are easily adapted. For example, consider playing “open face" with cards visible on the table rather than held up in the hand. This enables you to guide both older and younger players through the game.

For board games, you have two options. First, try suspending some of the rules or elements of the game. For example, play Monopoly without the money and it becomes a simple dice game without all the strategy and math. Or, play the game in teams. Teams could include an adult and child or a grandparent and teen. Be sure at least one player on each team is comfortable with the game's rules and its objectives.

Finally, consider activity toys such as puzzles, craft kits or building sets. Tasks can be broken down so that less able players can still participate. While some participants assemble a jigsaw puzzle, for example, others can be at work finding the corners or certain colors.

Whatever activity you choose, keep in mind that short and frequent visits can be just what is needed and are far easier to fit into both your schedules than longer ones which somehow have a way of happening only on occasion. And while planning can help make for a fun visit, remember that it's you, and not the activity, that means the most to your loved one.