By Nicole Levison

I heard somewhere that many seniors go without intimate touching for a year or more at a time, with medical personnel providing the only physical contact. Nowadays when I visit my husband’s grandmother at her community home, I spend time holding the hands of fellow residents, chatting with Grandma’s friends, and sharing stories. The elderly, it turns out, are the least touched group in our culture!

Babies, Grandma, & Grandpa Need Touch

Whether one is nine hours old or 90 years old, touch heals. In fact, scientific studies have proven that in order for newborns to flourish they must receive touch therapy. According to Johnson’s Baby, a Website devoted to babies, “Touch is one of the first ways parents and babies communicate. Through touch, a baby learns to enjoy the comfort and security of loving and being loved. Infant massage helps enhance the bond begun at birth.”

Why would touch be any less vital as we grow older? The best part about touch is that both parties mutually benefit from the encounter, another reason to give of yourself. As a caregiver, the first priority is to keep your loved one safe, closely followed by making the person comfortable and happy. Taking a few minutes every few days to give a hand or foot massage or stroke your loved one’s hair strengthens your bond and makes the person feel good. In addition, you are truly comforting your special someone who, due to being isolated, may not receive this important interaction any other way. Besides the caring extras you can offer, hiring an in-home masseuse might be one of the most thoughtful gifts. Note that massage therapists are trained to deal with many special situations, whether it’s the fragile bones of an older person, a pregnant woman, a person with special needs, or someone who’s particularly modest. Be sure to communicate your loved one’s specific health conditions and needs to any massage therapist you hire.

Kissing & Holding Hands With Your Partner

Massage, hand-holding, and kissing all contribute to better health. The book The Art of Hugging examines over 20 different types of hugs! According to a WebMD.com article entitled What’s So Great About Kissing?, smooching (even a peck on the cheek) produces a host of happy hormones (ranging from lusty testosterone to the romantic chemicals dopamine and norepinephrine to oxytocin, which is associated with tranquility, it exercises the face muscles, it burns calories, it reduces stress—in other words, it makes for a healthier, happier person.

Many times relationships and marriages suffer under the strain of caregiving. Whether you are caring for a spouse, a child, or a parent, your situation requires extra time and energy. But starve yourself or your mate of lovemaking, and your well-being pays the price. Maybe one of you suffers illness or a disability or your libido is low (hey, being tired is a valid reason). Well, there are ways to be sexual without intercourse—use your imagination and different parts of your body. Take time to find out what pleases your partner, share with him/her what you desire, try different times of the day, and new products (like lubrications or toys), and be patient and tender with each other.

Of course embracing a healthier lifestyle contributes to a better (sex and otherwise) life: exercise; avoid excessive alcohol, drugs, and smoking; eat and hydrate well; and communicate openly with your sexual partner, care provider, and loved ones.

Touch is important for people of all ages.

Touch is comforting and helps us feel closer to the people in our lives. Next time you and your loved one are watching a TV show together, or walking through the park—lean over and rub their hand, give them a hug, or just pat their shoulder.