By Alice D. Domar, Ph. D.

Caring for a loved one is a selfless act.  Often we believe that helping others will make us better people and earn us kindness capital to deposit for some personal need down the road.  The problem is that caregivers often give to others at great personal cost to their own mental, emotional, and physical health. You can’t eliminate the stress of such responsibility, but you can reduce it.  We’ve got some suggestions that will help.

Take Charge of Your Health

First, take charge of your own health. You can’t care for others if you’re constantly tired and rundown. Make an annual physical appointment part of your caregiving plan, and consider taking care of yourself as a prerequisite for taking care of others. Staying healthy and feeling good are essential to reducing stress.

Learn to Relax

Take a moment. We all know the importance of taking time out to relax. Take a breath and think about something positive, peaceful and soothing. It’s a perfect way to break the cycle of task-related stresses that are all too common for caregivers.

Create a Change in Scenery

It doesn’t matter if you’re giving care in the same space day after day. You can still change the scenery.  Put a new picture on the wall. Rearrange the furniture.  Buy a plant or some flowers. Build a new collage of treasured mementos for your loved one that you can both use to create a calming influence.  Make your caregiving space a beautiful space.

Get some Exercise

When you’re bordering on exhaustion, exercise may be the last thing you feel like doing.  However, helping your body relieve stress through planned and focused exercise will improve your stamina, help you feel good about yourself, and actually help avoid exhaustion in the long run.

Experience Each Moment to Reduce Stress

Use common senses for stress relief.  Take every opportunity to heighten your senses.  Don’t just eat.  Experience your food by really focusing on the taste of it. Enjoy its epicurean peculiarities whether it’s a hot dog (preferably made from turkey with low sodium and on a whole grain bun) or filet mignon. Don’t just smell fresh cut flowers, inhale the fragrance and let it transport you outdoors.   Don’t just handle the sensual textures around you, soak in the soft comfort of freshly washed cotton sheets. Delight in the touch of a sensual silk garment.  Don’t just play music to fill a void.  Listen to it as if you were in the front row behind the symphony.  You can do any of these things as you care for yourself while caring for others.

Talk to Your Inner Self

Keep a journal.  It helps to talk about it.  It doesn’t matter if the conversation is one-sided and reflective.  It just matters that you take the time to write your experiences down. You’ll be amazed at how getting things out will lighten your spirit.

Finally, Smile 

Seriously, just smile. It wll help. It’s a fact. You can’t hold a negative thought with a genuine smile on your face. Very few things can reduce stress better than a funny moment and the smile it brings.  It costs nothing, and you can do it with your hands full.