By Nicole Levison

I confess: I’ve surrendered… to myself. I’ve let go of my lofty standards and expectations because I just don’t have the time and money to invest in the kind of holiday hoo-ha I’d like to put on. And, frankly, I feel much better now that I’ve made peace with me.

Sure, I’d love to create a winter wonderland complete with a storybook, mile-high tree, find (and afford!) the perfect gift for each of our loved ones, bake a billion cookies, and donate time to the many charities that need volunteers. But I am satisfied to put my energy into a mini tree, purchasing tasty, gourmet treats from our local Farmer’s Market, and putting my altruistic efforts towards my own family’s needs this year.

Funny, this approach seems to have taken pressure off everyone around me. My mother was recently laid off, thus she and a number of family members that live in a depressed part of the country don’t have the resources they’ve had in the past. When I told her we intend to do less this year, she was relieved. It’s often said, but it’s true: the holidays are about family and kids—materialism has no place in heartfelt. So I’m going to share my secrets for enjoying the spirit of the season without all the fuss and stress.

I admit, I cannot take credit for all these ideas; I’ve picked up plenty from other caregivers and wise souls who know how to make the most of life.

Be Practical First

Know your budget—for both money and time.

If you only have $5 to spend per loved one and one weekend to accomplish your goal, consider giving them all the same, thoughtful gift. I’m a fan of handmade crafts that don’t take much time, but are something to cherish. When gift giving, take into account a person’s needs. While it may not be as glamorous, I feel it is the essence of holiday spirit. Part of being practical is recognizing your and your loved ones’ boundaries. If travel or hosting is going to be more stress than good memories, don’t do it! It’s ok to say, “no,” most decent humans respect that.

Budget-Saving Gifts:

• If your family or group of friends is large, think about doing a draw or giving only “stocking stuffer” (thrifty) gifts.

• Hit a discount store and get cheap, conventional picture frames, and then do a bit of personalization (like glue on faux fur, buttons, sparkles, pebbles, acorns, or pine needles), and insert a meaningful photo or clipping or quote.

• Remember I told you Mom got laid off? She’s getting a gift certificate to her favorite grocery store. And I told her and the rest of the family not to worry about presents this year. If they insist, I’ll mention a used book for our little one would be great (cheap to buy, cheap to ship).

• A number of my loved ones bake bread—they really enjoy the whole process, and the recipient is never disappointed. I often make personalized cards, which people tell me they keep forever. What talent do you have that others appreciate?

Enlist Help

This can come in so many forms: friends, family, spiritual sources. Think about what you can hand off—then say “yes” when someone asks if they can help. Actively ask too: have a family or friend meeting… email a list… make out index cards… post on a community board, whatever it takes. Believe in prayers, goodwill, and good energy.

Examples:

• Does a significant other or loved one not relish holiday planning like you do? Let them relieve you of something they don’t mind doing. Perhaps getting together a meal (this could include carry out) or spending time with the kids or someone you might normally care for?
• The advantage to shopping in person is the human aspect. If I’m purchasing multiple items or something pricey, I rev up a big grin and inquire if they have a “good guy discount”. I can’t count how many times it’s worked. We all walk away smiling.

Holiday Planning: Discover What Works for You

Like lots of other people, I start thinking about the holidays when the calendar suddenly announces December. If you’re one of those people who start in the summer, I applaud you. With all the tools out there like the Internet, spreadsheets, and loyalty programs that include timely reminders, discounts, and gift ideas, the only excuse is time and money. My advice: pace yourself… What duties can wait until a more convenient time? Are there people I won’t see until after the holidays and can give their gifts to after the season? Can I sacrifice money for time and hire professional help (e.g., gift wrappers, caterers, sitters, or medical personnel)? What do I most want to accomplish for the holidays?

Examples:

• I began a spreadsheet after many years of hand-written lists and last minute scrambling. Now I print it out, add/delete/modify who gets what (card, gift, both) on the piece of paper. I can see gifts from previous years, I occasionally jot down a gift idea or purchase I’ve made, and then update the spreadsheet after the New Year, when life’s not so nutty.
• There are plenty of last-minute (some practically free) ways to show love. Some of the best presents are both creative and thoughtful, so this is just a jumping point:

- e-cards/certificates (better for the environment too)

- donating time (in my mind this takes many forms, from creating a “gift certificate” for a homemade dinner to charity work)

- depending on where you live, how about a mini snowman or a small arrangement of hand-picked local flora for someone you love?

• For maybe an hour a couple nights a week, I make out holiday cards during TV commercials. At least then I’m being an active couch potato.

However you celebrate, whatever your beliefs, it’s about taking the time to be kind. And this includes being kind to YOU. Season’s greetings!