By Gary Barg

Principle One

Your loved one’s doctor lives by the Hippocratic Oath. Your loved one’s Social Worker lives by the Code of Ethics. Your loved one’s nurse lives by the Florence Nightingale pledge.

If we, as caregivers, are going to be treated as a member of our loved one’s care team, we need a set of principles as well. Luckily for us, caregivers do have a set of principles, though they are not as widely known.

I call these principles the Fearless Caregiver Manifesto.

In my last column, I introduced the concept of becoming a Fearless Caregiver. In this column, I’d like to explore the first principle of the Manifesto:

I will fearlessly assess my personal strengths and weaknesses, work diligently to bolster my weaknesses, and graciously recognize my strengths.

I consider this the most important of the ten principles within the Fearless Caregiver Manifesto. I have spoken with many CEOs of major organizations, celebrities, and politicians in my role as Editor-in-Chief of Today’s Caregiver magazine.  And although each and every one of them undeniably works very hard to maintain their present position, I can’t think of a single one of them who works harder or whose work is more important than that of a family caregiver.

From the moment most caregivers wake up (or are jolted awake) to the moment we put our heads on the pillow at night, we worry about the well-being of our loved ones. We think that whatever we do is not nearly enough, and we are convinced we have overlooked something that would make our loved one’s life better, or more comfortable.

Principle One of the Fearless Caregiver Manifesto deals with recognizing your strengths and weaknesses.  Please do not see the word “weakness” as something negative. I like to see weaknesses as opportunities to develop more strength.

In order to fully access our strengths and weaknesses, we need to recognize and acknowledge everything we do as caregiver. 

Please take a moment to fill out the Fearless Caregiver Personality Inventory.  There are no right or wrong answers, so feel free to answer as honestly as possible:

Fearless Caregiver Personality Inventory

On a scale of 1-5, score with 1 being the least and 5 being the most.

• I find it difficult to convey my feelings to:

Other family members              (1-5)

Doctors                                   (1-5)

The loved one I am caring for   (1-5)

• If a healthcare professional tells me something which I don’t fully understand, I ask them to repeat the instructions until I am satisfied that I understand their instructions.  (1-5)
• I find it easy to take the time I need for myself when I am feeling stressed.  (1-5)
• I use all necessary services to help me with my caregiving and know that I can’t do everything by myself.  (1-5)
• I have created an informal network of family and friends to help me care for my loved ones and do not hesitate to ask them for what I need.   (1-5)
• I find it easy to have honest conversations with my family members about all aspects of our loved one’s health condition.  (1-5)
• I can talk about end-of-life issues with my loved ones.  (1-5)    

Results

Total up the number of points from the questionnaire above. How did you do?

1-9       You are reading this with no time to spare.

10-23   Relax, you are on the way to Fearlessness. Keep reading.

24-34   You are on the way to becoming a member of the team. Pat yourself on the back.  

35-45   Congratulations. You are a Fearless and Formidable Caregiver!