By Vicki Rackner, M.D.

 “I don’t know what to get my grandmother for Christmas,” Denise told me.  “She’s in a wheelchair after her stroke and has everything she wants or needs.  Still, I want to let her know she’s special.” 

“What about the gift of health?” I asked.  She replied, “The doctors can’t restore her ability to walk.  She’ll never be healthy again.  Plus, if I were to give her the gift of health, what would I give her?  Vitamins?”

Even if someone you love is sick, you can help them be as healthy as they can be. Just as you can become more sick with improper care, you can make small improvements with tender loving care. Sometimes, even a smile or laugher can help improve symptoms or someone’s overall well-being.

Gift of Health

One of the best ways to stay healthy this holiday and flu season is to WASH your HANDS.  Remind your loved one that this simple step can help prevent illness and keep them healthier this season. Consider a holiday gift basket that includes soaps, decorative paper towels, and hand sanitizer.  Do away with the hand towel near the sink.  It’s a catch-all for bacteria.

Here are some more gift ideas for someone you love who needs care.  Maybe you’ll find something appropriate for your aging parents, a partner celebrating his or her last holiday season, or a friend recovering from a cancer operation.  

Gift of Laughter

Gelotology is the study of the health benefits of laughter. You know from your own experience that laughter can often help reduce stress and tension. Evidence suggests that laughter enhances the function of your immune system and stimulates pleasure centers in the brain.

That’s why giving the gift of laughter can be one of the best presents for a loved one whom you are caring for. How about renting or buying a funny movie? Or browsing the bookstores for a funny book?  Maybe it’s even a book of corny even knock-knock jokes.  Or re-tell your own stories that bring tears of laughter to your loved one’s eyes. Or show your loved one funny pictures of family gatherings. Whenever I have some disaster, I console myself with how funny the story will be at the retelling.

Gift of Movement

People often have a tendency to become increasingly immobile as we face illness, particularly with an aging body. Yet, depending on the health condition, physical activity may be the closest thing to a magic bullet to optimizing health. Check with your healthcare professional before you and your loved one engage in any physical activity. Sometimes modifications of exercise or activity may be appropriate.

If you and your loved one’s healthcare professional gives the green light on physical activity, what’s stopping you? The word “exercise” often acts as a de-motivator when it comes to physical activity. But when you rephrase it to “activity,” we can all find something we like. What activities bring your loved one true joy? Walking in a beautiful garden?  Swimming?

What keeps them from doing it?  Don’t have a swimsuit?  Lack transportation?  Don’t know where to go?  You’re never too old to try something new.  I just started taking ballroom dancing lessons, and one of my partners is an elderly man with a tremor.

Gift of Stress Reduction

Reducing stress helps people stay healthier.  Laughter and exercise can be good stress interventions—be sure to speak with your doctor before starting any exercise program.

Sometimes keeping busy with something can act as a stress-reducer.  Consider playing with worry beads, or knitting a sweater with some yarn, or even squeezing a “squoosh ball” with your hands.  Running arthritic hands through the curly hair of a poodle or petting a lap cat raises the good brain chemicals.  Don’t underestimate the healing power of a dog or cat, even if the pet is visiting in the home only for a short time.

Gift of Connection

Isolation and loneliness may increase the risk of illness and make recovery more challenging.  Help your loved one stay connected to others.  Maybe you can give a box of cards, easy-to-use pens, and stamps and sit down with your loved one to write cards to friends and family.  Maybe you can give calling cards so that your loved one can call long-distance friends without worrying about the phone bill.  Maybe you help your loved one learn how to use email! Best of all, you can give the gift of your time.

Gift of Medical History

You and your loved one may receive better medical care if you know your entire medical history.  I feel so passionate about the importance of keeping copies of your medical records that I actually created a Personal Health Journal for my patients. You don’t need to buy this as a gift; your gift can be the offer to collect and organize medical records.  If your loved one wants to know what to give you, ask for the gift of family stories, including your family’s health history.

Gift of Story-Telling

I have saved my best for last. One of the best gifts for your loved one is the gift of story-telling. Give a note or video or photo album that explains why your loved one is special to you how he or she has made a difference to you.  Caregiving is a way of saying “I love you,” but sometimes, a little note to remind your loved one why you are caregiving can mean a great deal. I promise that the gift of your love may be the most treasured gift you could ever offer.