TIME OFF IS HEALTHY
By Alice D. Domar, Ph. D.
As caregivers, most of us would like to believe we are indispensable. Sometimes we even believe we are the only ones who can do things adequately.
But, there’s a fine line between being a responsible, diligent caretaker and a control freak! Learning how to delegate is an important skill all caregivers should develop to protect their own health and well being.
Stress is Dangerous
In a study of spousal caregivers, (Schulz et al, 1999) caregivers who experienced mental or emotional strain had a 63 percent higher risk of death than non-caregivers. Other research by the National Alliance for Caregiving and AARP reports that 15 percent of caregivers admit to having physical or emotional health problems directly related to caregiving. Many caregivers have their own personal illnesses they are trying to manage. In every case where caregivers already had hypertension, coronary heart disease or cancer, their abilities to fight their own diseases were significantly less than non-caregivers.
The research over the last decade is crystal clear—caretakers who devote themselves to their loved ones to the exclusion of their own needs become ill.
The bottom line is caregivers must take care of themselves.
Caretake Your Own Health
The best place to start is by taking time off from your caregiving responsibilities. Be a caregiver who is willing to rely on and accept help. You don’t necessarily need to hop on a plane to a tropical island (although if this could be arranged, it’s not a bad idea). You’re not abandoning your responsibilities. You are simply looking at your time in a new light.
You need to caretake your own health with the same attention you give your loved one.
Spend this respite with activities that give you pleasure and are good for your health such as exercise, or time with friends and confidants.
The health benefits of time off are profound.
Physical exercise improves your health- it enhances your immune system and decreases the risk of developing diseases such as cancer and heart disease, but it also benefits your psychological health.
Exercise is a wonderful treatment for anxiety and mild depression. Even taking a walk can ease your stress levels and produce healthy benefits for you. And, sunlight on your skin helps your body produce vitamin D, which brings many added health benefits. Research has shown that being able to share with friends, having people you can confide in, benefits you enormously. You will live longer and find more contentment in life.
Plan Joy-Filled Activities
Other healthful ways to take some time out are:
- Movies
- Sporting events
- Simple and fun activities such as making fudge, calling an old friend, or reading a great book.
LLuminari expert Alice Domar, Ph.D, recommends writing down a list of 20 things in your life that bring you joy or used to make you happy. The list can include favorite people, foods (think biting into a juicy peach or a perfect chocolate truffle), games you played as a child, or other activities.
Strategies for Getting Time Off
Seek respite care, the most common service provided by states to family caregivers—temporary or short-term services that enable you to take a break. Respite care can be in or out of your home, during the day or overnight.
The Administration on Aging (AOA) within the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) has many programs within The National Family Caregiver Support Program including transportation services, senior centers, and nutrition programs that may free some time for you. Contact your local area Agency on Aging.
- Enlist the support of family, friends, neighbors, and church/synagogue.
- Keep looking and you will find a network of people wanting to help.
- Consider hiring non-medical aides who can help with shopping, preparing meals, and other daily chores. Look in the Yellow Pages under Home Health Care.
- Use your creativity and imagination to give you even a few minutes of personal time out.
- Buy a good book or tape to help you learn meditation.
Readjust your thinking about taking time off from caregiving responsibilities. Think of it as a necessity, not just a possibility. Keeping yourself physically and psychologically healthy will benefit you and all those who need you.
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Can't get it
Mia | October 16, 2007 | 12:17 AM
I work for a family that I feel like if they do not have to give up any of their time they are not concerned. I work over 270 hours every 2 weeks and when I ask for time off to do what I want to do they act like I am so wrong. I am a live in caregiver and the family never help or even ask how she is doing. I went to a furneral and the undies I put on my lady at 9:00 the night before I left was still on her at 9:00 am the next morning, she spent the night with her sister. Her gardian live about a block away (her neice) and won't even come an change her undies. Her sister is not able to do this. What am I to do? Are there any help for cargiver who are not decision makers or family member? I'm afraid if I leave my lady she will go down. When I started takeing care of her she was on hospice, about 4 months ago she did not qualify for hospice anymore because of her improvement. Not once has the family said thank you to me. :(
Yes, it is but
err | January 14, 2007 | 11:40 PM
As a former family caregiver I have to agree that time off is a wonderful thing. However, since I couldn't work, I was not able to go to the movies or travel. When my dad broke his hip and while he was in rehab, I took a trip to Washington, DC since it was scheduled and I couldn't get my money back. I had some money at that time. As things progressed I ran out of money.
One month before my father passed away, a friend and I went to Catalina Island for a day. I had (through a grant from LA Caregiver's Resource Center) someone stay with my dad. When I returned home the aide was giving him orange juice at a 30 degree angle. I just about had a fit.
One of the problems that I faced were the caregivers that were sent to give me respite. They couldn't follow directions (as simple as use this plastic cup for my dad) and they caused me more stress than staying and caring for my father.
I also know that most caregivers face these same issues. So, how do you take a break from caregiving duties and feel good about it when the "help" isn't good?
brother
kecar99 | January 1, 2008 | 9:55 PM
I am worried about my brother who has been a spousal caretaker for about 4+years now. He is only 34 and her 32. They have a 1 year old daughter he also cares for. Does anyone have any advice or know of good websites I can get information on the stress of spousal caregivers?
Thank you!
TIME OFF IS HEALTHY
kczarnecki | February 14, 2007 | 3:50 PM
The article was very good. The only change I would have made was to use the word "Respite" in regards to taking a break. In my past experience caregivers truly do not understand or give themselves permission to take a break (Respite). They often do not refer to themselves as caregivers. A common statement made is "I am just a daughter, son, wife or husband helping a family member.
